Marriage, Politics, & Compromise

As I prepare to officiate for my nephew's wedding this weekend, our nation's debt ceiling crisis dominates the news.  My wedding homily will highlight the importance for a husband and wife to look out for the interests of each other.  Can a connection be made between marriage and what we're seeing on Capitol Hill?

Sometimes, married couple participate in a wedding renewal service.  I have officiated for many of these.  These services remind the couple of the vows they made to each other during their wedding ceremony.  The traditional vows which are still used today in the United Methodist Church offer these words:

"In the name of God, I (Name), take you, (Name), to be my wife/husband, \to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.  This is my solemn vow."

These are beautiful words, but what does it mean to live them out day after day and year after year?  When I ask couples who come to renew their wedding vows what has helped them the most, they almost always say something about the art of compromise.  So much for the phrase, "Compromise is a dirty word!"

None of this means that compromise is an easy thing.  We all have principles that sometimes conflict with someone else's principles and beliefs.  A very wise friend of mind who is a highly respected pillar in her church has a long history of helping people and groups within the church to find common ground and points of compromise.  She often will pose this question to someone who is bound and determined to not accept any compromise whatsoever.  "(Name), is this really a hill you're willing to die on?"

In case you think that I'm comparing apples to oranges by seeing a parallel between the present political debt ceiling stalemate in DC with disagreements in a marriage, just ask couples who have been married for any length of time.  No matter how much a husband and wife love each other, debates over such things as spending vs. savings or what should go on the grocery list when money is tight will test the marriage covenant.  How couples work through these areas of disagreement will reveal the degree of sincerity of their wedding vows.

So maybe, we need to have Democrats and Republicans renew their past commitment to help bring unity to our fractured and polarized country. 

Compromise isn't a dirty word.
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