Sermon (July 1) "The Life of David: Good Grief"

     On a late Saturday afternoon this past February, I was scrolling through my twitter page, and read the breaking news that award winning singer Whitney Houston had died at a Beverly Hills hotel.  When I read this news, I remember feeling great sadness that someone who had touched so many lives with her music had died in the prime of her life.

     I thought about her battle with drug addiction and her troubled marriage with singer, Bobby Brown.  And even though I wasn’t the biggest Whitney Houston fan, I did appreciate her music and watching her and Kevin Costner in the movie, “The Bodyguard.”  On one hand, I felt grief and sadness for her but on the other hand, I felt a lot of disappointment that she didn’t take care of herself due to poor choices in her life.

    There’s a phrase that is used to describe people who on one hand, have done a lot of good but who also have caused a lot of pain.  And to varying degrees, this phrase describes every single person.  The phrase is, “The ambiguity of the human condition.”  The word, “ambiguity” means doubtfulness and uncertainty.  This phrase reminds us that there are times in our lives when we don’t live up to who we are meant to be. 

    A friend of mine who is a retired United Methodist pastor told me about a time when he officiated at the funeral of a man who died in the prime of his life.  During the funeral service, he told me how he shared several good things this person did during his life, like how he was a loving husband and father to his family.

     When they were at the cemetery for the committal service, a family member interrupted the service and said, “He was no saint.  He was mean and hurt a lot of people.”  That was a very awkward moment for my pastor friend.  He allowed this man to share his feelings and did his best to acknowledge him so that a bad situation didn’t get even worse.

     This pastor didn’t lie about this man because he really did a lot of good things.  But of course, at a funeral, you don’t focus on the negatives, mainly the positives.

     We could share many examples of people who have died and who have left us with a sense of grief and mixed emotions. 

     But let me offer two more examples.  The deaths of Saul and Jonathan from our Old Testament reading this morning.

     When David received the breaking news that Saul and Jonathan had tragically died in battle with the Philistines, his heart was broken and in his deep grief he shared these now famous words, “How the mighty have fallen.”

     During these Summer Sundays, the Old Testament lectionary readings focus on the life of David, one of the most fascinating figures in the entire bible.  David was known as a man after God’s own heart.  He did amazing things for God and for the people of God but he also experienced many challenges and valleys along the way.  We can learn a lot from the life of David.

     Today, David teaches us how to grieve.

     Here’s a little context to set the stage of where we are so far in following the life of David.  Saul, who in our scripture reading this morning was killed in battle has been serving as Israel’s first king. 

     Saul got off to a good start in his reign as king.  He is introduced to us as someone who was very king-like.  He was tall, strong, and not someone who was looking for personal power.  Saul was out searching for one of his father’s donkeys one day when God chose him to be the first King of Israel.  Saul had a natural ability to lead, was a mighty warrior leading the Israelites to victory over the Ammonites, and the spirit of the Lord was with him. 

     So far so good, right?  Well, things begin to unravel for Saul.  His demise begins when he disobeys clear instructions from the Lord and those instructions were to not go to battle against the Philistines until the prophet, Samuel arrived to offer a sacrifice to God. Saul was impatient.

     Even though Saul continues to lead the Israelites in battle, he again disregards the Lord’s clear instructions to not spare the life of the enemy king.  Because of his disobedience, an evil spirit is set loose to torment Saul and unknown to him, God chooses a new king whose name is David.

     Just when you think things can’t get any worse for Saul, he begins to sink into insanity and paranoia.  He seeks to kill David and chases him all over Judah.

     While Saul is leading the Israelites in battle with the Philistines on Mt. Gilboa, they overtook Saul and his sons, one of whom is Jonathan, David’s best friend.  And there on the battle field, they were both killed.  Knowing that he was surrounded, Saul actually fell on his own sword.  Israel’s first king is now dead.

     When David receives the news of Saul’s death, the man who had tried to kill him, you’d think that he would have rejoiced or felt relieved.  But it’s the opposite.  David grieves, not just for his best friend Jonathan who had been killed, but for his enemy, Saul as well.

     Today’s scripture is the grief or the lament that David expressed in light of this tragic news.  It’s actually a poem or a funeral dirge if you will, to help David express his deepest anguish over what had just happened.

     Grieving over Jonathan, we can understand, but why on earth would David have been heartbroken over the news of Saul’s death, the man who had tried to kill him numerous times?

     Maybe my friend’s words come into play here.  “The ambiguity of the human condition.”  For all of Saul’s bad qualities, poor decisions, and paranoia, he was still the King of Israel which in and of itself, commanded respect.

     And even though Saul had a tragic ending on the battle field, he was a mighty warrior whose bravery at least saved Israel from total defeat.  And because of Saul, Israel was able to move a little closer to freedom from foreign enemies and have a more stable empire.

     These stories that we find in the bible remind us of how complicated and messy life can be sometimes.  This is one of the reasons why people are drawn to the bible because our lives like these biblical characters can be complicated and messy as well.  Even David, who we put on a pedestal and revere, will have his moral failings which will lead to negative consequences for himself as well as the people he was leading.  But we’ll save that for another Sunday this summer.

     For now, we learn how important it is to grieve.  Grieving is what helps us to express our feelings so that we can receive God’s healing love as we move into the future.  When we don’t give ourselves time to grieve, we end up separating ourselves from the One who can make all things new, the Lord.

     What grief is the Lord calling you to express?  What recent grief or loss have you been experiencing?  Grief isn’t always about the loss of a loved one.  It can be over the loss of a way of life that is no longer available like the loss of a job or the loss of a relationship.  Whatever your loss might be, know that the God of Israel, the God of David is here for you to comfort and console you and to give you a future with hope.

     Many of you are aware that my mom died three weeks ago.  She had dementia for the past twelve years, but I was still surprised when I received a call from my brother to come home as soon as possible because it was now just a matter of days. 

     I got that call just before I was about to lead a worship service at one of our nursing homes that afternoon.  My brother and I cried over the phone, as we were still in shock over the news.  After we hung up the phone, I was trying to wipe away the tears from my eyes.  I remember saying a little prayer, “God, help me to get through this worship service.  Help me.”

     When I was walking into the nursing home, my hands were shaking and I remember feeling such an emptiness in my heart in that moment.  I continued to pray, “Lord, help me.  I need you.” 

     One of the nurses met me at the door and said, “Oh, I hope you don’t mind but these youth are here from another church visiting with the residents so your worship service will be a little delayed.  Is that OK?”  My prayers were already being answered.  I would have a little more time to compose myself before starting the service.

     I watched off to the side as these youth were bringing great joy to the residents.  That brought an unexpected smile to my face. 

     And then God answered my prayer again.  Before the service, I ran into a couple from our church, Bob and Marilyn Jepsen.  Bob was there for some rehabilitation following his surgery.  I shared with them about the news of my mom and together, we offered a prayer for God to surround my family with comfort and peace.  I knew I wasn’t alone.  A sense of God’s presence surrounded me.  From there, I was able to lead the worship service. God really does help us to grieve.

     The funeral service for mom was a true celebration.  We laughed.  We cried.  And we offered mom back to the Lord.

     You know, I don’t know if I would have made it through these past three weeks without you.  You were there the day I got the call to come home and you prayed with me.   You were there the day of her funeral through those beautiful flowers you sent to my home church.  You were there through the hundreds of sympathy cards, facebook messages, e-mails, and phone calls.  You helped me to grieve with hope.

     There is such a thing as good grief when we offer to God our deepest longings and anguish, and in return, we receive God’s comforting love.

     David didn’t face his grief alone.  He knew that God was with him and that the deaths of Saul and Jonathan were not in vain.  Hope and new life are possible even in the midst of the ambiguity of the human condition.

     I watched about half of Whitney Houston’s four hour funeral service on CNN this past February.  It was a service that included deep expressions of grief and heartache reminding us of David’s poem.  “How the mighty have fallen.”

     But…But in the great tradition of African American worship, it was also a service of incredible joy and hope.  The music was phenomenal and the good news of Jesus Christ was passionately proclaimed.

     Even though one of the mighty had fallen, and the ambiguity of the human condition was so much part of Whitney’s life, New Baptist Church in Newark, New Jersey taught the world how to grieve with hope.