Here's Pastor Dave McDowell's weekly devotional that he sends out to members of his church. Dave is my brother and serves as the Music Minister at Stewartstown UMC in PA.
It is said that absence can make the heart grow fonder,
but can it do much more?
It has been almost a year
since my family gave Mom back to the Lord.
The year has been filled with daily moments
of sensing her absence from us.
While I can't speak for my siblings,
I can honestly say that my
heart contains more joy than sadness.
Anyone who has watched a loved one
battle with dementia will understand.
It is a cruel disease that steals and robs.
And so I can say,
I have joy,
joy that Mom now has her mind back fully....
joy that she is with Dad, the love of her life.
I must be honest in acknowledging
that Mother's Day and her upcoming death anniversary won't be easy.
It is a part of grieving.
But throughout the years,
I considered that I have always had a 2nd Mother's Day.....
That is, the weekend before Mother's Day,
usually on Friday.
Over the years, it became the day
that Mom and I would spend together,
having lunch,
going to the nursery, choosing flowers,
and coming home to plant them around my home,
and taking plenty of time, just to talk.
Mom loved going to the local nursery
and seeing their vast array of flowers.
She would joke that I would be
purchasing all the red & yellow flowers
in support of my alma mater.
(she wasn't far from the truth)
Inevitably, she would bring me a flower
festooned in blue & gold
(the color's of my school's arch rivals)
Tongue in cheek, she would comment
on how lovely the flower would look in my yard.
In response,
I would grab another tray of red & yellow zenias
commenting that they would look MUCH better.
My Mom loved to work in her flower gardens.
And so she would give me tips on how to best plant the flowers.
No need for expensive fertilizers.
She would send me to the barnyard to shovel the manure.
"Nothing like rich manure to help the flowers grow"
she would say, except as a lifelong farm girl,
she didn't use the word manure.
The last couple of years.
as the dementia robbed Mom of mind and bodily strength,
she would help me for only a few minutes,
then she would sit and watch.
The disease though, could not take the sparkle out of her eyes
as she admired newly planted flowers.
"Don't forget to water them"
she would say, still able to offer motherly advice.
This last Friday was "my Mother's Day."
The ladies at the nursery offered their condolences.
I bought as many red & yellow flowers as I could afford.
I laughed as I boycotted the horrible looking blue & yellow flowers.
I walked down to the barnyard and shoveled the %#^!
And yes, I remembered to water each and every flower.
Though she wasn't there,
she couldn't have been any closer.
Absence can make the heart grow fonder.
It can also remind you of how much you have been given,
and thus remind you of how much you have to give to those who follow.
I know without a doubt that one day we will be reunited.
But until that day,
I will live surrounded by the love
that my Mom and Dad gave to each of us,
and I choose to offer that love to others.
And in doing so,
I find deep wells of joy.
For those who still have your moms,
may you savor each moment you have with them.
To those who have had difficult relationships with moms,
may you find a road to compassion and forgiveness.
To those who have given moms back to God,
may you be flooded with a joy that only comes
from the love in a mother's heart.
Happy Mother's Day!
Just keep your blue & yellow flowers to yourself, thank you.
You did it: You changed my wild lament
into whirling dance;
You ripped off my black mourning band,
and decked me with wildflowers.
I'm about to burst with song;
I can't keep quiet about You.
God, my God, I can't thank you enough.
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