Monday, May 23, 2011
A Church Member's Question
Here is a question a church member recently sent to me for my response. I'd be interested in other ways of responding as well.
I have a question that I would like for you to answer from a Pastor's perspective and also a theologian's perspective, Several times the last couple of weeks, different people have told me that they will keep me in their "thoughts and prayers". How many of these people do you think actually do that? Or has this just become a statement that we use without thinking about what we are really saying and what it may mean to the person you said it to. This has been bothering me and I would like to know what you think of this statement. I know that I keep a list of who I have said this to so that I can remember to pray for them. If I didn't, I would forget and then I think how hurtful it was to that person to not follow through. I look forward to your response.
My Response: Thanks for the question. This is one I personally struggle with a lot as a pastor. I receive many prayer requests often when I'm moving from one thing to another without time to write down the prayer request on a piece of paper. After I get home, I try to think back to conversations and write down any prayer requests that were mentioned but the best method by far is to write it down when I'm with the person.
Another approach which is my favorite is to pray with the person right there on the spot. Even a brief 20 second prayer can be a powerful and holy moment as we offer to God the joy or concern.
If I get a prayer request via an e-mail or through facebook, I will often type out a prayer and send to the person and we can share in a cyber prayer. One of the big advantages of this method is that the person can refer to this prayer again and again.
I use the daily office prayers based on the Anglican/Episcopal calendar. This includes daily prayers that touch on a variety of topics such as those who are unemployed, those who are serving in the military, and every Monday morning, it includes a prayer for those who are facing medical challenges. I will insert several names of people in my church including other friends and family members who are in need of God's healing touch. The Daily Office method is a built in way of helping me to have a wholistice prayer life.
While I recognize that we are only human and it's inevitable that we will forget to pray for someone, I think it's important to find ways to fulfill our promise. Sadly, I think we too often say comments like, "I'll pray for you," when we know full well that we do not have a method in place to help us to actually remember to pray.
Maybe there's some other helpful ways that people can share.
How would you respond to this person's question?
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You covered most bases I think. I try to have a business card handy in my pocket and make the note on the back as I walk or talk. It takes about the same amount of time as the short prayer, but the short prayer is more powerful for the person, I think. I do that if someone has told me something and I promise to "keep them in my thoughts and prayers," or when specifically asked to pray. As you can imagine, I am not 100% on this.
ReplyDeleteIf asked specifically for prayer, I try to follow up and send them a note by e-mail, but I am not a pastor and I am sure that I receive fewer specific requests than you. I do it not just to support them, but as a way to remind me to pray. It is also usually 1 line saying "Still praying." I confess to sending out multiples with BCC e-mail addresses if I have been lifting up a good number of folk.
My list contains my ongoing prayer list and then my stack of cards. I like to pray when I walk. (It beats texting and driving.)
I do wonder how good others are at it. I suspect it is like everything else, some better than others. Some are prayer warriors, others struggle.
Jim a.k.a The Tonsured One