I wonder if this shift in mood was similar to other moments in our denomination’s history like when they received word of a proposed split in 1844 over the divisive issue of slavery. And let’s not forget other controversial debates that our Methodist ancestors have had over issues such as divorce and the ordination of women. For that matter, reading the New Testament and early church history always reminds us that a shortage of controversial issues is usually not a luxury for people of faith. Where there are Christians, there will always be disagreements.
When I arrived at seminary, my hopes were high. To be honest, I was wondering what an academic institution of higher learning would offer someone like me who already had a strong biblical faith. My “all is calm, all is bright” assurance of my faith was suddenly rattled by the remarks of one of the seminary professors at our first day of orientation.
This wise New Testament scholar offered us this analogy which I continue to remember to this day.
He said, “Think of your faith as a brick building. Our job at the seminary is to blow up your building and then help you reassemble the bricks so that you will leave from here with an even stronger and more well-rounded faith.”
I remember shaking my head and thinking to myself, “Yeah. Whatever. Don’t be messing with my bricks. They’re fine the way they are.”
It was only a few months into my first year of seminary, that I began to realize the importance of that brick building analogy. Not only was I being introduced to a variety of biblical and theological perspectives that l never knew even existed, but I was also meeting other seminary students who represented a variety of faith experiences and backgrounds so different from my own. Professors were challenging our long held assumptions and had the audacity to make us think and rethink and then think again! That professor at orientation was right. My faith was beginning to blow up brick by brick. I was not in the mood to sing “all is calm, all is bright,” because I was feeling unsettled, anxious, and even angry at times. I’m not sure when I started to finally begin feeling like the bricks were starting to get reassembled, but I remember leaving seminary with a deep appreciation for that experience as difficult as it was at times.
Our Methodist/Wesleyan faith encourages us to always be moving onto perfection, to always be learning, growing, stretching, tearing down, and reassembling our faith brick by brick. One of the tools that John Wesley taught us to use in this process is the quadrilateral where we approach scripture through the lenses of tradition, reason, and experience. Tradition is what informs us of how the church over the centuries has grappled with various issues of faith. Reason reminds us of the importance of using critical thinking and rational thought in our approach to faith. And experience opens us up to new perspectives of how God is at work in the world through the eyes of others. Approaching our faith in this way reminds us that we are always a work in progress. We are always learning, discovering and experiencing the Bible in ways that connect to the world in which we live.
Over the past few years, I have been on an intensive journey in rethinking my biblical/theological understandings regarding LGBTQ issues.
Applying the Wesleyan quadrilateral has been a process of my faith getting deconstructed but along the way, those same bricks have been slowly coming back together to form an even stronger building.
One of the key growing pains for me in this process has been acknowledging that while the Biblical authors were inspired by God, they were also writing during a particular time, a particular place, and to a particular people who were living in a particular context. All of this needs to be weighed alongside of today’s 21st-century understanding of same-sex orientation vs. what they knew about same-sex relations in ancient times. This is similar to how the creation stories in the book of Genesis are not meant to be based on 21st-century science but based on the science and cultural setting of their day.
Looking at my faith through the lense of experience has also led to a deconstruction/reconstruction in my faith regarding LGBTQ issues. Statistics reveal a much higher rate of suicide for teenagers who are gay vs. those who are straight. Suppressing how God has created you and feeling like you always have to hide who you really are is never healthy and life affirming. When the religious community in which you participate tells you that you are a sinner if you are gay or that you are not worthy to be married to a same sex partner or be considered for ordination, that toxic spiritual environment leads to feelings of dehumanization.
My experiences in getting to know the faith stories of people in the LGBTQ community who love Jesus with all their hearts have been painful to hear. For example, a couple of years ago, I was listening to an interview with Trey Pearson, the former lead singer of the popular Christian band, Everyday Sunday. Here’s one of their popular songs.
During the interview, Trey was talking about what his life has been like since he publicly came out as gay a couple of years ago. It was so sad to hear his story and even sadder when he said during the interview that a concert his band was supposed to give in the community where I serve as pastor was canceled because he had recently announced that he was gay.
During this interview, he said how his band needed to break up over a long and successful career because Christian venues which are mostly evangelical no longer wanted them to perform. The good news is that Trey has started a new solo career touring around the world to provide a safe space for the LGBTQ community. During the interview, they played the song, “Hey Jesus,” from his new CD. I cried as I listened to it because it is his personal prayer to Jesus since he has come out.
A few days after I heard his interview, the Holy Spirit started working on my heart to contact Trey and see if he would be able to perform that song at my church the Sunday before the special General Conference last February.
Honestly, I didn’t know how my congregation was going to respond to his story of faith and the singing of his song, but he received a standing ovation of appreciation. It was so moving! It was one of the top worship experiences in my thirty plus years of pastoral ministry and I will never forget it.
I recently caught up with Trey to let him know of the positive ripple effect that he helped to start just by coming down to share his journey of faith with us.
My biblical and theological understanding has changed over time because of these kinds of biblical perspectives and experiences. Like my professor said, my carefully constructed brick building of faith will get knocked down from time to time.
About three months after last year’s special General Conference, I was feeling very discouraged, irritable, confused, and angry toward my denomination. The bricks of my faith had been thrown everywhere. I wondered how they were going to get reassembled.
Our church decided to develop a welcome/diversity statement to help people know that we are an inclusive church. Some people have joined our church because of that statement. We are also seeing a more diverse group of people attending our services and church events. I was starting to see a few bricks getting reassembled!
And then one day, the Holy Spirit reminded me of how important the benediction at the end of a worship service is. It’s that final reminder before leaving worship that we are each loved by God. I wrote the first part of that benediction and included a line from a benediction found in our UMC marriage ceremony liturgy. I smiled at the irony of using our own denominational liturgy to arrive at a different theological conclusion regarding the LGBTQ community. We now say this benediction together after each service.
The calmness of “Silent Night” turns into an unsettling period of growth and uncertainty. But through much prayer, discernment, study, wrestling, and experiences, those bricks will get reassembled and our faith will become even stronger. I see this happening in my life and in the life of our church. Praise God!
As we prepare for this May’s General Conference to make key decisions regarding the LGBTQ community who are brothers and sisters in Christ, my prayer is that brick by brick, we will find a way forward and a place where we can sing again, “all is calm, all is bright.”
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