A United Methodist Pastor's Theological Reflections

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory (nikos) through our Lord Jesus Christ." - I Corinthians 15:57


Thursday, May 10, 2012

A Tribute to Mom-Mom: Dave's Deep Thoughts

Here's Pastor Dave McDowell's weekly devotional that he sends out to members of his church. Dave is my brother and serves as the Music Minister at Stewartstown UMC in PA.
 
 
Many would call her a tough old bird.
 
She was the prototype of a farm wife.
To the world, she was Ida Wright McDowell
but to me and the other grandchildren,
she was Mom Mom.
 
Born in 1895,
she lived until 1995.
She grew up on farms her entire life.
Any given day meant
long hours of manual labor,
literally from sun up to sun down.
 
Tending the garden,
cleaning the house,
washing clothes,
butchering,
canning fruits & vegetables.....
just some of the things on her daily to do list.
 
In her later years, this became increasingly difficult.
Her legs were bowed to such an extreme that to a child,
they looked like croquet wickets.
 
Visiting the farm as a child was a glorious adventure....
playing in the barn,
exploring the fish pond,
venturing into the woods at dusk,
checking out my grandfather's latest ccarpentry projects.
 
There was always the reward of a cold glass of iced tea,
that had enough sugar in it to raise stock prices.
 
That, and the cookies or cake that would accompany it,
would be enough to fuel any grandson for further exploration of the farm.
 
To the world that knew her,
she was tough and strong,
but it was the 8 grandchildren that knew the softer side of her.
 
She would slip a grandchild some money and say,
"Go get something you want for yourself."
 
Or she would bring a secret home remedy
when we were ailing and say,
"Now don't tell your parents!"
(To this day, I have no idea what I ingested.....)
 
But is was the birthday cakes that I remember most.
These weren't your average birthday cakes,
but 5 tiered circular cakes that looked like miniature wedding cakes,
made from scratch for each grandchild,
extravagantly decorated
and always delivered promptly on the birthday.
It wasn't till I was 18 ,
that I realized that no other family I knew of,
received such an extravagant gift from the oven.
 
Last year, as my family was cleaning out my mom's farmhouse,
we came upon the diary.
 
It was Mom Mom's.
From 1970-1973, daily entries.
 
Such introspection was a surprise.
It's not easy to think about the introspective side
of a woman who with hatchet in hand,
would behead chickens for supper.
 
The entries were brief and often perfunctory
often a weather report for the day.......
what chores she accomplished,
who had their hair done,
or who stopped in to visit.
 
But there were other entries that jumped out.....
 
Tuesday, April 14, 1970
Weather: 42 degrees and rainy
"The astronauts (sic) are in trouble"
(Apollo 13)
 
Sunday, March 19, 1971
Weather: 53 degrees and cloudy
"Nobody visited us today.
It was a lonely day."
(I felt horrible when I read that)
 
June 22, 1972
Weather: 61 degrees and hard rain
"This is the worst storm in the history of the US
Thousands of people have no homes or food. This is terrible"
(Hurricane Agnes)
 
July 20, 1973
(no weather report given)
"Maynard died at 10:40am at the hospital"
(her husband of over 50 years)
 
It is fascinating for me to take a peek back into time,
to look at my childhood
and life as it was in small town America 40 years ago.
 
This is what I learned.....
 
Ida Wright McDowell gathered and cracked more walnuts
than anyone else in the history of mankind.
 
It was not unusual for at least 5 days out of any given week,
for family members to visit my grandparents.
 
My grandmother kept much of the southern part of the county fed
with pickles, beans, and other produce that she harvested.
 
My grandmother kept an amazing flower garden.
Her roses were the envy of the town.
 
Eating meals together as family

was the rule not the exception.
5pm farm time, be in your chair.
 
Milk was delivered to your house.....everyday.
And you left cash in an unlocked insulated milk box outside your door,
with no fear of it being stolen.
(For anyone under the age of 45, I'm not kidding!)
 
Out of town family members wrote letters,
regularly.
 
If you had a weak stomach,
it was not a good idea to visit the farm on butcher day.
 
Sunday was for church, family dinners, naps, and visiting neighbors. PERIOD.
 
The dishwasher had a name..........
Mom Mom.
 
In an age without internet, smartphones, and satellite TV,
people knew more about the important things going on in the lives of friends and family,
because they talked to each other while looking each other in the eye.
 
The doctor and TV repairman
came to your home.
 
Graveyards were places to visit and lay flowers,
not vandalize tombstones.
 
I must admit,
there is a part of me that would gladly give up
this fast paced, high tech life that we now live
for the simpler, slower paced life of 40 years ago.
But that is not going to happen.
That's a bridge that once crossed,
there is no return.
 
But as I live in a world
where families live time zones rather than a few miles apart,
and divorces are as common as marriages,
I realize that the answer to strong families
isn't so much in the era,
as it is in the expectation.
 
Choosing to take time to visit,
choosing to take time to eat common meals,
choosing to let technology assist and not hinder building strong relations,
choosing to turn off the electronic device for a while and look people in the eyes,
choosing to focus on being together rather than keeping up with overcommited schedules.
 
Choosing.
 
This Mother's Day,
I choose to remember not only a grandmother who was tough as nails,
and whose 100 year old heart bore both the good and the bad.
 
I choose to remember that the simplest and most important things in life,
faith, family, & friends are the best things,
and can be found if I just choose to take time to look for them.
 
Now excuse me while I go skype with a relative.
 
Children, obey your parents in the Lord,
for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment
with a promise) That is may be well with you, and that you may live
long on the earth. And parents, do not provoke your children to anger,
but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-4
 

No comments: