Today
I'd like to mention one of my favorite's from childhood: Lie Detector by Mattel ! I loved to play this game where you had to
figure out who was guilty. There are 24
suspects on picture cards, and each card
has a clue about the criminal's physical
appearance ( such as “he had a mustache”)
Was this information true?
You found out by using the plastic Lie
detector box. The card was placed inside the box, and
the pointer would then go to True or False. If it was False, the bell would ring. You knew right away whether the witness was really telling the
truth. If only it was that easy in real
life...
Our
Old Testament drama concerning the
figure Jacob continues with more lies
and deception. So far we have seen how
Jacob entrapped his hungry brother Esau
out of his birthright. And then we saw how Jacob disguised himself as his
brother in order to deceive his elderly
father and get the family blessing. His
brother's hatred for him is so intense that Jacob has to leave town and becomes
a fugitive.
He finds shelter with his Uncle Laban. Jacob becomes interested in Laban's daughter
Rachel. For seven years he has worked on Laban's farm with the understanding that he will be given Rachel as his
wife. To Jacob, she is worth all the
time and labor. The wedding occurs and
the next day Jacob discovers that things are not as they seem. He had not
married his “longed for” Rachel but
married her older sister Leah. ( I'm not sure how this happened, probably had
to do with heavy veils!) However done, Laban had tricked Jacob and switched brides.
He
justifies his actions by telling Jacob that the local custom is that the older
daughter must be married prior to the younger.
And yes, Jacob can also marry
Rachel but that means 7 more years of
working on the farm. Jacob now has more debt to pay, 2 wives ( one he chose, one he didn't) and a
very untrustworthy father in law.
This
story has more twists and turns than any tv drama. When we read ahead, we find
that Jacob's family is caught in layers
of fibs.
Dishonesty seems to color every relationship.
Jacob
is not innocent; we have seen that
he has not always been truthful. His
mother ( who aided him in his deception of his father ) has not been honest.
Neither have his wives, or his brother
-in- laws, or his father in law. Everyone seems to bend the truth if necessary.
Down the road, when Jacob himself is older, he is lied to by some of his
children who bring him bloody clothing
and tell him that his favorite child Joseph is dead. In reality, they have sold
Joseph to slave traders and he is on his way to Egypt. What a family...
We
wish that we could say that Jacob and his family are an extreme example of
deception but the truth is: we are all not truthful with others and
ourselves.
Have
these words ever come out of your mouth: “ I'll be ready in 5 minutes. “
“
Really, I'm fine.” “I'll call
you.” “I mailed the check last
week.” “You look great."
One
of the first stories in the Bible
concern Adam and Eve who try to cover up their actions by lying to
God. This seems to be part of our nature:
we don't want to admit who we are and what we have done/ or not done and so we
rewrite our history.
Marilee
Jones worked in admissions at MIT for 25 years, eventually becoming the
director. She helped author a book called Less Stress, More Success for students and job seekers encouraging them to be themselves in order to
go far. Sadly, she had not followed her
own advice. In 2007 it was discovered
that years ago she had claimed to have several academic degrees which she did
not have. She lost her position and
reputation when the deception was
discovered.
Why
do we do this?
Laban deceived Jacob because he was greedy and
wanted to make money at his daughters' expense.
We do it for personal gain.
We
don't tell the truth because we don't want to face the consequences, the
punishment. This begins when we are small; we deny because we don't want to
stand in the corner!
We
take a truth detour because we don't want to be embarrassed or shamed. We don't
want people to know our true selves. We want to embellish our story which seems
inadequate.
We
are deceitful because we want to hurt others.
We
are less than honest because we want to protect others, or protect ourselves.
Sometimes
we are desperate and don't know what else to do to resolve a situation.
And
perhaps the most ironic reason for deception is: we want to appear “good” or “perfect” , as someone without fault, and
therefore we lie.
We
use different ways to sugar coat our actions:
“It was only a little white lie”
“I may have fudged a bit” “I
guess I exaggerated” “I
misspoke”
We
may categorize the severity of dishonesty but
it all is harmful to our relationships with others and chips away at our
level of trust.
If
someone is not honest about the small things, then we wonder about the bigger
issues.
Each
of us has found how deeply we can be wounded when we discover that a person close to us has been untruthful.
Jesus
helped people to see themselves and their motives truthfully. Let's look at his
interactions with Peter. He told Peter
that he was a strong rock in his
character and that became his name. On
the night of the last supper when Peter was boasting that the rest of them
could deny Jesus but he never would,
Jesus pointed to the truth that
Peter was just as scared as anyone else in the room and that he would certainly betray him that
very night. After the resurrection when
Jesus appeared at the Sea of Galilee, he asked Peter repeatedly if he loved
him. In doing so, he brought Peter to another wonderful truth: that Peter indeed loved Jesus and he
would be sent out to care for Christ's sheep.
Jesus
taught that: "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you
will know the truth, and the truth will set you free... So if the Son sets you
free, you will be free indeed.
We
live in a time where deception is not unusual. We have seen it with in
business, politics, government, schools, individual lives. We have become wary of promises in advertising, and in all the “facts “ on the Internet.
We
yearn to hear someone simply say “ I was
wrong.”
As people of God, we stand on the foundation
that “ we should not bear false witness.”
Our intention is to be as
truthful with those around us as we
can and with as much love as we can.
Invite
you to engage in some soul searching: If
you realize that you are stretching the truth, why are you doing this? Why is it needed? Who does it benefit? Who do you misrepresent the truth to most
often? Family, friends, strangers, co workers?
One
study reported that people confessed to not telling the truth most often to
their friends. (Why should that
be...aren't our friends the ones who
know us the best and care for us most?)
As
you evaluate your actions, is there
a better way that Christ is
leading you to?
There
is a tremendous weight upon our souls when ever we lie to others and to
ourselves.
There
is tremendous freedom when we admit to ourselves our sins and weaknesses. There
is a great relief when we allow God's grace to shine light upon the shadows in our
hearts.
There
is hope when we ask for God's strength to help us be more transparent, and to
change our habit of saying what we know to be false.
We
may not have our own personal plastic lie detector box to help us navigate
life, but
each
of us through the power of Christ can be a person who is trustworthy,
who
speaks with integrity,
and
who honors God with their words. Will
you be that person?
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