We have been focusing on the Apostle
Paul’s Letter to Ephesians this summer to help us think about what it means to
have a growing and mature faith, a varsity level kind of faith.
I’ve been wearing a different varsity
jacket each week during the sermon. Today’s varsity jacket belongs to Nathan
Rickey who lettered in hockey at Athens High School. Thank you Nathan, for
letting me wear your varsity jacket!
God must have a sense of humor because our
focus today is on the importance of being kind to others, and this isn’t
something we usually associate with the sport of hockey.
In Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, we find
these words, counter-cultural words, “And
be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ
has forgiven you.”
Paul says to us, to be kind toward
one another. What do you think of when
you hear the word, “kind?”
Hockey? Presidential debates?
Or do you think of being gentle, loving,
thoughtful, caring, compassionate, and maybe going out of your way to help
someone?
My wife, Penny has a way of responding to
someone who shows her kindness. She will
say, “Well, aren’t you kind!” She
almost has this southern accent when she says it. “Well, aren’t you kind.”
Underneath that response, it’s like she’s
saying, “You really went out of your way,
and I noticed.”
So what do you think? Do we live in a kind world? Do we live in a world in which people are
constantly showing kindness left and right?
Probably not, otherwise, we would
constantly be saying all day long, “Well
aren’t you kind! And aren’t you
kind!”
Here
in chapter 4 and into chapter 5, Paul’s letter to the Ephesians offers specific
and practical instructions in what it means to be a mature follower of Jesus
Christ and to have a varsity level type of faith.
I
think what’s going on here, is that Paul wants the Ephesians to realize that
being followers of Jesus Christ means that we are to be distinctive in the world. We are to stand out in a good way, not a bad
way.
Showing kindness day in and day out is how
we are to be distinctive in the world. Paul is reminding us, that showing
kindness is a huge part of what it means to be mature disciples of Jesus Christ.
A lot of what Paul has to say in this
passage has to do with the tongue. What
we say and don’t say. This is extremely
important for Paul.
Paul writes that we are to speak the
truth, but not twist the truth to make someone else look bad; not that any of
our presidential candidates would ever think of doing something like that.
But it’s not just politics. I wonder if
Paul was writing today if he would include how we conduct ourselves through
Facebook and other forms of social media.
If you don’t already know, I love social
media. I see it as a way to stay in touch with all of you in between Sundays as
well as with the larger community. Just like our tongues can be unkind, what we
type through social media can be unkind.
If you ever want to get really, really
depressed, go online, read an article, and then read the comments and opinions
that people posted about that article. Even if the article wasn’t that
controversial, chances are that there will be some very unkind comments.
Some of these comments have no basis in
fact whatsoever. Even people who have disagreements, express their opinions in
such a way that is just plain nasty. It’s very challenging to consistently show
Christian kindness in a world that has so much negativity.
I like that Paul tells us to think about
what we say about our neighbors because, Paul says, we are members of one
another. We should want the best for
people, and that doesn’t mean resorting to gossip and snooping around for the
dirty details.
And then Paul talks about anger. Not that anger in and of itself is wrong, but
it’s what we do with our anger that makes all the difference. Anger is meant to help us to work for peace
and justice in a particular situation.
Anger is not meant for us to belittle
someone or do something that is counter to our faith. That’s why Paul says to not make room for the
devil when we are angry.
There’s always that fine line in using our
anger to do what is right, rather than to say something or do something that we
will later regret. The mark of a mature faith, of a varsity level of faith is
to not allow anger to get the best of us, but to make a situation better.
And then Paul offers a solution to help
thieves to stop stealing. I love
this. Paul says, “If you are in any way taking money from people in a dishonest way, you
need to stop doing that, not only because it’s wrong, but so that you can live
in a way that will help the poor.”
Paul is saying that instead of
spending your time and energy in acquiring wealth in an unethical way, you
should be making money the right way so that you can give back to the poor.
I love it that Paul just doesn’t quote
from the Ten Commandments about “Thou shall not steal” but he’s getting at
something much deeper. He’s saying, “We
can’t afford as Christians to be involved in unethical behavior, because we
need to be helping the poor and the needy.”
And then Paul tells us to speak words of
grace to those around us. Paul
specifically says to use words that build up.
Talk about counter-cultural! One
of the most practical ways that we can show Christian kindness toward others,
is to offer words of affirmation and encouragement.
Husbands and wives – These are great words
to help us have a marriage that is built on trust and appreciation.
I love it when Penny says to me things like…Here
are some things she will often say to me…“You
are such a hunk. You are so strong and muscular. I really hit the jackpot when
I married you.”
Actually, one of the many kind things she
says to me is, “You take good care of
me.” That makes me feel so good! Isn’t it amazing how powerful a kind word
can have on you?
We once had a microwave that was kind.
Yes, you heard me correctly. We had a kind microwave. After you would heat
something up in this microwave, the phrase, “Enjoy
your meal” would appear on the little digital screen.
Our microwave was showing us kindness
whenever we used it! That’s pretty incredible when you’re appliances show you
kindness.
The exception is the refrigerator. Every
one of our refrigerators has been really cold toward us. I don’t know what we
say or do, but they always come across really cold.
Speaking of kind words, I remember meeting
with a married couple who was having marital problems. You could just feel the
anger and coldness in their relationship.
They each took turns telling each other
everything they didn’t like about the other. At times, the conversation became
very heated.
After I let them vent for a while, I said
to them, “OK, for the past several
minutes, you’ve shared your frustrations about the other person, but now I want
you to share what you appreciate about the other person.”
You could have heard a pin drop in the
room. They were caught off guard. The tension in their faces began to relax.
After a long pause, one of them said to
the other, “I love your smile, especially
when you’re playing with the kids on the floor. You have the most beautiful
smile.”
I call these break-through
type of moments, “God entering the room moments” because it felt like God had entered
the room in that very moment.
The focus immediately shifted from anger
to kindness and it was one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed.
Now, they still had a lot to sort out, but
that moment of kindness became a turning point in their relationship. They were
now on the road to healing as a couple.
Showing kindness is important
for any relationship. Words of affirmation go a lot farther than words that put
someone down.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox has this wonderful
quote on the importance of offering affirmation. She says, “A
pat on the back is only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, but
is miles ahead in results.”
Affirmation is an important way that we
use words of grace for the purpose of building each other up and not tearing
others down.
And then Paul concludes our passage of
scripture by talking about the touchy topic of forgiveness. He says to “be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God
in Christ has forgiven you.”
Forgiveness is at the heart of what it
means to be a follower of Jesus. Forgiveness can be hard though, and often it is.
The story of told of two businessmen who
were roommates in college, meeting at a convention with their wives. The men, reliving the days of happy go lucky
youth, sat in the hotel lobby and before they knew it, most of the night had
slipped away.
They knew they would be in trouble and the
next day, they happened to see each other.
“What
did your wife think?” said the one.
“When
I walked in the door, my wife got historical.”
“Don’t you mean hysterical?” the
other man said.
“No. Historical.
She told me everything I ever did wrong.
She got historical on me.”
Paul tells us toward the end
of our passage, that God does not get historical on us for our past sins. When we confess our sins to God through faith
in Jesus Christ, we can be assured that our sins have been forgiven and God
remembers our sins no more.
And in the same way, we are to forgive one
another for the ways we have hurt one another, intentionally and
unintentionally. Why? Because God has forgiven us.
This is kindness at its very best. When we forgive one another, just as Christ
has forgiven us.
A varsity level type of faith always
includes kindness which is rooted in the unconditional love of Jesus
Christ. And just think what a difference
an entire church can make, when it offers God’s unconditional love to its
surrounding community.
Chances are that you have been on the
receiving end of a random act of kindness. During the Christmas Season one
year, I was leaving a department store and someone from a nearby church was
handing out free rolls of gift wrap paper.
I remember thinking how this was such a kind
and thoughtful thing for a church to do.
I’ve had people ahead of me in a fast food
line pay for my order as a random act of kindness. I had never done this for
anybody before so I thought I’d give it a try.
One
day, I was in the drive-thru lane at a fast food restaurant and a really big van got
in line behind me.
As I sat there just waiting to place my
order, it was like God was saying to me, “This
is your chance. Pay for the person behind you.”
I remember thinking, “Lord, I’m a little low on disposable income this week, and what if
that van is filled with a bunch of kids? This could be expensive.”
As these thoughts were going through my
head, it was becoming more and more apparent that this was something God wanted
me to do.
So when I finally pull up to the window to
pay for my order, I say, “Here’s the
money for my order and I also want to pay for the van behind me. I don’t care
how big their order is. I’ll pay it all.”
This person at the window
smiled at me and said, “Oh, OK, that will
be another $3.10.” And I went, “Yes!!”
And this guy just laughed, knowing that I
got off easy. I told him, “Just tell the
person behind me, “God bless you from First United Methodist Church.”
So here’s the deal. That was the best
$3.10 I have ever spent in my life!
God is good! Amen? Amen!
Random acts of kindness!
A friend of mine who’s a pastor was
telling me about how his church has been involved in random acts of kindness in
his community.
This pastor told me, “Our church chose for one of our “random acts of kindness” to go to a
local Speedway gas station and clean their restrooms for free.”
And my first reaction was, “Yuck!”
But then he said, “An amazing thing happened through this ministry. One of the workers at that Speedway gas
station, was so taken aback by this act of kindness and self-sacrifice, that
she ended up joining our church and she’s now singing in our choir.”
This was because a few
Christians showed kindness in a world that can be so very unkind.
In just two weeks, our church will have an
opportunity to show Christian kindness to incoming students by giving out free
water right here in front of our church building. This will be a simple and
practical way of letting our community know that we are a caring church.
But why wait until then? How about this
week, let’s be intentional in being kind to the people we see.
Let’s build people up with our words. Let’s do a kind deed that is helpful to someone.
And maybe, just maybe, someone will say to
you and to me,
“Well
aren’t you kind!”
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