A United Methodist Pastor's Theological Reflections

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory (nikos) through our Lord Jesus Christ." - I Corinthians 15:57


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

"Jesus & Colds" Dave's Deep Thoughts

 
 
I am aways wary of old tweezers.
Sometimes, I am suspicious of old geezers.
But it's really the old sneezers that frighten me.

She's usually there on the late night shift.
On the rare occasion that I find myself in the grocery store after 11pm,
it's just her and her cash register.
 
Produce people have long since gone home,
deli workers are far away from their meat slicers,
and bakers are nestled in bed
dreaming about their next recipes.

It's just her.

For 8 hours,
she's the keeper of the castle,
matriarch of the manor,
grand lady of the grocery.

She looks to be about 143.
She always appears to be lacking energy,
but who doesn't at 11:45pm?

Her words are few.
Her body is thin and frail.
Her hair is unkempt.

Each move is slow and deliberate.

I rarely say much to her
as it appears she'd rather work in silence.

But this night was different.
I was just starting a week-long vacation
and I was filled with excitement.

As I approached the checkout,
I noticed that she had a cold.....
a bad cold.

Her eyes were watery,
Her nose was runny,
and her breathing was heavy.

I looked to see if I had any other options....
there were no other checkout lines open.
The self-checkout line had long since closed for the night.

She was the gatekeeper,
the lone gatekeeper.

I had prided myself on getting this far into the season,
without getting sick,
quite a feat when you work in a church at Christmas......
but here she was,
my sternest test to date.

I had five items.
I thought about holding my breath,
but I knew my lungs couldn't make it through
the weighing of produce.

Purell was nowhere to be found anywhere
and disinfectant sheets were at the entrance,
not the exit of the store.

No, it was me and Miss Influenza.,
face to infection,
customer against cold sore,
man against malady.

I didn't have a chance.

I said a prayer as I handed her my rewards card.....
that would be the hand that held
several moist, crumpled tissues.

She handed it back.
It was at this moment that I wished I had tweezers.

I was doomed.

She grabbed the grapes.....
She sneezed over the snacks.
She coughed on the cupcakes.
She wheezed at the whipping cream.

I was already mentally planning a post midnight hosedown
of all grocery items when I returned home.

Realizing that I had stared directly into the eyes of disease,
I threw in the towel
and grabbed a final item........
some nasal spray,
conveniently available at the checkout.

I had a feeling that by the end of my vacation,
I was going to be needing it.

We run the other direction
at that thought of catching a cold or flu bug.
No one wants to be sick,

When the flu season arrives,
we become more aware of things that are spread.

I did come down with a cold by the last few days of my vacation.
But I had the comforts of a warm home to recuperate.

Unlike my elderly cashier,
I did not have to work a night shift
while not feeling well.

I am sure there could be many theological discussions
about whether or not Jesus would catch a cold,
in the years when he walked this earth.
He certainly didn't shy away from contagious people.
Lepers and laity alike were welcomed into His presence.

It could be argued that since He is Lord over all infirmities,
He didn't run the risk of infection.

But my perception of my Lord
sees Him coughing and sneezing
as He takes on ALL the infirmities of mankind.

Whether or not you can envision a sneezing Jesus,
can you envision a Lord who lovingly embraces
all who are sick and diseased,
essentially all of humanity?

I don't think Jesus bothered with
disenfectant wipes and antibiotic lotions.
Whether or not He needed them on this earth
isn't the crucial point.

What is crucial is that the great gatekeeper of heaven's doors
is willing to embrace the sick and the dying.
And He asks His followers,
sick and diseased as they are,
to do the same.

May you embrace those who sneeze through your life,
as your Lord loving takes on your infirmities.

ANd He called the twelve together and gave them power
and authority over all demons and to cure diseases,
and He sent them out to mpreach the kingdom of God, and to heal.
Luke 9:2
.

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