Lost and directionless, I got down on my knees and said a prayer. "Jesus, I need you. I've been trying to do things my way and it hasn't worked. I want to put your first in my life. From this point on, I'm going to do what you want me to do, whatever it may be. Forgive me for how I have strayed from you. I rededicate my entire life to you, Jesus. Amen."
As I stood up from that prayer, it was the most unbelievable feeling, like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. I now had an assurance, an unshakable confidence that Jesus was truly my Lord and Savior.
It was my sophomore year of college and I was really struggling with bad grades, a relationship break up, the sting of being cut from the baseball team, and not knowing what to do with my life. As my knees began to bend to pray that life changing prayer, I realized this was something I hadn't done in quite a while.
Another result of that prayer was that God also spoke to me during that prayer! It was like God was telling me, "OK. That's great. I will guide your every step. But here's what I want you to do immediately. Start studying! Give your best. Don't worry about what your major should be. Just study. Trust me and I'll take it from there. And here's the 2nd thing. I want you to begin a bible study and invite your friends from High School so that they too can be my followers. Got it? Good. Begin today!"
From that point on, I began to set aside at least two hours every day to study. I also sent out a letter to as many of my old High School friends that I could think of to invite them to my house for a bible study which I would lead.
As far as the studying part went, Jesus helped me to make the Dean's List which was a pretty impressive accomplishment since I was getting D's and C's. And people responded to my bible study invitation. About a dozen people attended on a weekly basis and most of them were not actively part of any church. Through that bible study, some accepted Christ, some would enter the pastoral ministry, and many got involved in their church again.
Jesus had made his point. "Always put me first and I will lead you in the way you should go."
If God's grace was extended to me before my conscious awareness claiming me as his child in my infant baptism (prevenient grace) and was extended again so that I could accept this grace while on a playground at recess (justifying grace) this grace being extended to me while in college was God's (sanctifying grace.)
Sanctifying grace is the grace that continues to mold and shape us following God's prevenient and justifying grace. It's the grace that reminds us that we're all "a work in progress." We're never done growing in what it means to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ. I am constantly learning and discovering what it means to say that Jesus is Lord of my life.
As I reflect on my life long faith journey, I realize that it's all about God's grace. God's previent grace is still at work in my life seeking to wake me up to claim God's grace. God's justifying grace is still at work in my life reminding me that God's grace has claimed me. And God's sanctifying grace is still at work in my life rooting out sin and perfecting me in love.
Amazing grace how sweet the sound!
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